Producers Confirm James Bond Will Drive Chinese Haval SUV In Upcoming Film
LONDON – Eon Productions recently announced a significant partnership with Great Wall Motor for the next James Bond film. Furthermore, the legendary…
Society
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FCC Orders ABC To Implement 30-Second Delay For AI Content Moderation
WASHINGTON — The Federal Communications Commission issued a new mandate to ABC regarding live broadcasts today. Therefore, the network must now implement…
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ABC Rejects Claims Kimmel Bonus Was Reward For Referring To Melania Trump As “expectant widow”
LOS ANGELES — ABC officially denied reports about Jimmy Kimmel’s recent performance bonus today. Specifically, the network dismissed claims that the payment…
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Secret Service To Permit Media Presence During White House Terrorist Attacks For Real-Time Documentation
WASHINGTON — The United States Secret Service recently updated its operational protocols regarding media access. Consequently, journalists may now document hostile incursions…
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US Special Forces Recruiting Service Uses Image Of Soldier Who Won $400,000 on a bet to arrest Maduro
WASHINGTON — The U.S. Army Special Operations Command recently updated its official recruitment portal. This new campaign features Sergeant David Miller, who…
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Macron Announces ‘Make France Great Again’ Campaign Starting With Cinematic Remake Of ‘The Professional’
PARIS — President Emmanuel Macron officially launched the “Make France Great Again” initiative at the Elysée Palace today. Furthermore, the administration will…
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Trump: Marijuana Reclassification Necessary To More Fairly Evaluate The President’s Performance
PALM BEACH — Donald Trump announced a new policy regarding the federal status of cannabis today. Furthermore, he argued that reclassifying the…
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Following Smartphone Ban UK Mandates Windowless Classrooms To Prevent Outdoor Distractions
LONDON — The Department for Education released new architectural guidelines for state schools this morning. Furthermore, the updated policy requires all primary…
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UK Municipality Replaces Parking Inspectors With Former Teachers ‘To Ensure More Educational Penalties’
LONDON — The Reading Borough Council hired former educators to manage local parking enforcement across the town. As a result, officials believe…
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Career Transition” Badge for Users Whose Job Titles No Longer Exist
MOUNTAIN VIEW — LinkedIn recently introduced a new digital badge for users with obsolete job titles. Furthermore, the “Career Transition” icon appears…
